we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
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Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
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Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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