This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Randomize
