I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
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