Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
