I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize