i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize