Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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