Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
