How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
