just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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