There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
