What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
