The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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