my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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