if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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