...so i touched it.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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