i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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