Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes

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(614): If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes http://tfl.nu/ijgu

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir

(952): View more from Minnesota

details?

(920): View more from Wisconsin

alcohol + bed + penis = sex

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(920): i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir (952): details? (920): alcohol + bed + penis = sex http://tfl.nu/7qj6

Replies (28) Good night (2739) Bad night (717)
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(352): View more from Florida

I just got invited to go home with a married couple...

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(352): I just got invited to go home with a married couple... http://tfl.nu/0i8n

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(909): View more from California

Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.

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(909): Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle. http://tfl.nu/fgdn

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(831): View more from California

No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick

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(831): No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick http://tfl.nu/r1nb

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

She just messaged me 19 sad faces.

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(+44): She just messaged me 19 sad faces. http://tfl.nu/vblt

Replies (25) Good night (762) Bad night (6169) Order T-Shirt
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(919): View more from North Carolina

It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"

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(919): It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it" http://tfl.nu/8bv4

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(714): View more from California

Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.

(562): View more from California

You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.

(714): View more from California

Well someones bitter they didn't get any.

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(714): Hahaha you puked all over his shirt. (562): You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch. (714): Well someones bitter they didn't get any. http://tfl.nu/4mgl

Replies (20) Good night (5090) Bad night (1273)
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(404): View more from Georgia

I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.

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(404): I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play. http://tfl.nu/jglo

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(479): View more from Arkansas

This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"

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(479): This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!" http://tfl.nu/9tko

Replies (26) Good night (840) Bad night (1625)
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(503): View more from Oregon

I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation

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(503): I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation http://tfl.nu/9svf

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(207): View more from Maine

Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.

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(207): Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me. http://tfl.nu/clpj

Replies (9) Good night (1461) Bad night (918)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people

(763): View more from Minnesota

and u failed math?

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(651): 2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people (763): and u failed math? http://tfl.nu/331s

Replies (20) Good night (2747) Bad night (539)
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(775): View more from Nevada

I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab

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(775): I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab http://tfl.nu/nlzo

Replies (2) Good night (1103) Bad night (236)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.

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(318): U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off. http://tfl.nu/1s94

Replies (3) Good night (399) Bad night (135)

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