What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.