Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
My cat gives me a boner
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.