Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Good thing I've started drinking again
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.