when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.