god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
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