If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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