Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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