How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
