Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize