Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
