don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
