I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
