why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
did i just pee glitter
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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