Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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