Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
