Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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