I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
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My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
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She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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