Someone shit on the floor
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas