Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.