I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
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Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
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I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.