no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out