So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
