Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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