thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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