Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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