Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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