You're so nebulous sometimes
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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