Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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