A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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