He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
