one might say we're banned from that church
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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