The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I bet he comes in French.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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