I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
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so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
