Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
