I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.