At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions