There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter