New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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