So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
