No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
